Leadership Fundamentals

Americana Diner exterior

Sunday, April 18, 2010, I had Brunch with 6 other great ladies I used to work with. We laughed, we shared stories and told each other what’s going on in our lives [all but 2 people at the table had been laid off from our company]. It was great to catch up with them, to find out how resourceful they are, to hear their plans for the future. It is obvious that all of us had singled out other things that interested us and took us off in other directions from our former corporate life. They were some of the most talented and interesting associates I’ve known in my life. One of them is looking to take over a business as a floral arranger. Another is enjoying the time off to spend time with her new grandchild. One is doing freelance work. I, of course, decided to pursue writing/blogging on the internet.

It was unfortunate that the diner we picked — the Americana Diner in East Windsor, NJ — was incredibly noisy on a late Sunday morning, making it difficult to hear everyone. However, although the coffee was bitter and stale, the food was absolutely great and the surroundings pleasant. A few of us ordered a B.T.O. Omelet — that’s Basil, Tomato, and onions. It was light and fluffy and abundant. One of us ordered Crispy Crunch French Toast, which is rolled in Rice Crispies before frying. The maple syrup smelled heavenly.

The time just flew by, as we reminisced over past get-togethers, funny occurrences from work, and plans for future luncheons. These connections are so important – for mental health as well as an exchange of ideas, and just to find out what’s going on outside yourself. At least 3 of us in the group have been together for lunch half a dozen times in the past year. We all plan to meet again just after Memorial Day.

I would advise everyone to keep up the ties to former associates for a number of reasons.

• Your own mental health and sense of belonging to a group
• A spectrum of ideas about where to go from where you are to a new beginning. Don’t give up! Consider this an opportunity to change your life for the better.
• An insight into how others are dealing with the same type of situation you are in.

Americana Diner Seating

To my delight, when I arrived home, I found that about.com has published an article about my blog, with facts I had given them about my blog beginnings. To a blogger, it’s a win-win situation when a large and well-known website puts your link on their pages. And so, I guess I would have to say that Sunday was a great day for me all around.

Roto-Rooter COO Rick Arquilla with a stopped-up bathtub

In the April 2, 2010 airing of Undercover Boss,  Rick Arquilla, President and COO of Roto-Rooter, goes undercover to examine the daily lives of his workers. Although it’s not a particularly easy episode to watch — sewage, opening drains, pulling out hair and old towels from stopped up plumbing — it is once again a real eye opener for those, like myself, who are  interested in the day-to-day work lives of the unsung heroes of the work world. Heck, I remember one of my own crises only this year, when our kitchen sink stopped up. Who do you think we called? Yep, that’s right – Roto-Rooter! We were faced with dozens of ads in the Yellow Pages, but we didn’t want to fool around. We’ve had experiences in the past with local companies which didn’t call us back or couldn’t come within 24 hrs. In our case, there had been a built-up of grease. Parenthetically, I should say we have septic and well water. What I learned from it is to wipe grease and oil completely off pans and dishes with paper towels and try and prevent it from getting into the system at all.

But I digress. Let’s get back to the show, shall we? We first see Rick in New Orleans, then in Chicago. He’s going under the name of “Hank”. Once again, the employees have a hard time training the newbie. You can see this in their expressions, rolling of their eyes, and their comments. It’s obvious their  opinion is that this newbie is NOT going to make it. What really amazes me is how good most of these people are at their jobs. I’d do anything to hold on to them. For instance, the customer service person who tells him “you talk AT the customers and interrupt them”. He concedes that he has done that a number of times. She explains “I love our customers”. She tells them “basically, you want to be their hero”. He admits ” I gotta be a little warmer and fuzzier”.

I loved it when he was back in New Orleans, and being shown the ropes again at a nursing home with a problem. His “teacher” is obviously frustrated and says “Today’s his first day. Only time will tell — he may be my boss one of these days.” Well, that made me grin. Rick said “This was probably a little more than I had bargained for.”

As with past shows, he gets to have a one-on-one conversation with one of the workers. Chris reveals his past problems and recovery from alcohol and drugs, something that almost destroyed his life. Rick can fully sympathize, because his own father was an alcoholic, and it destroyed his life and impacted on his children. You watch Rick experience very emotional reactions, and he is clearly in tears hearing the worker’s story. In the end, he confesses “You taught me how to be a better person”.

“A close friend of mine, a senior manager for a large London publishing company and the epitome of steadiness and understatement, suddenly, around thirty-five, found himself plunged into a complete abyss over the path his life had taken. He looked around one day and wondered how he could carefully construct, over so many years, a daily life he could barely endure.”

–David Whyte, The Heart Aroused : Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America

It’s a cumulative thing, this losing of the soul.

It may start with something as simple as keeping silent when you disagree with your boss’s opinion.

If you’re a manager contributing to loss of soul

– It may have dawned on you that as you rose up through the ranks,  those friends and associates you used to lunch and chat with all the time are no longer  part of your “friendships”. In fact, your friendships are now with those who are on similar rungs of the corporate ladder and have status the same as yours or greater — never lower.

–  You no longer share personal information with those lower on the ladder.

– All or most of the information you know about your employees would fit nicely in a spreadsheet.

– You cannot tolerate anyone knowing that there is something you do not know or do not have the answer for. Ignorance in any business topic must not be admitted to. Therefore, you have drifted into becoming very guarded in your conversations. Others quickly recognize this, and so a loss of trust occurs. Without trust, your direct reports won’t feel they can raise any issues with you, so now the loss of trust is accompanied by deception and avoidance of hot topics. Because of the working relationship the above generates, you suspect — and are undoubtedly correct — that the team is talking about you negatively behind your back. But at least they know who’s in charge.

– You cannot remember the last time you were able to laugh at yourself or admit to any shortcomings.

Experiencing Loss of Soul

In the middle of the road of my life I awoke in a dark wood where the true way was wholly lost
-- Dante Alighieri

Losing the soul in the workplace is almost like a bereavement. There is a disconnection, a lack of engagement. The days seem longer, the accomplishments diminished, talents feel unappreciated or unused. An emptiness settles in. There is a general feeling of unease, being on guard, being less open. Where the emotional high of workday anticipation carried you along to work on wings, you begin to feel a heavy heart and feet of clay.

The challenge in modern corporate America is to hold on to the values we are taught in our personal lives – creativity, compassion, duty, sharing, and yes – understanding. In order to be whole, we cannot separate our humanity from our working lives.

Recovering the Soul

If you are in management and you have been in the same workplace for a long period of time, it may not be possible to recover the soul without moving on and moving out. Your persona has been established there and it will be difficult to change it, but it can be done — with patience and resolve. Initially, those who have worked with you simply won’t believe that the change in you is anything but temporary.  As time goes on and day settles upon day, this should come to pass. As long as it’s an honest resolve and deeper understanding, it can be done.

Take a good look around you. Do you see individuals, people with objectives, losses, striving, creativity? Or do you just see bodies performing tasks? Do you believe that most people want to give their best effort? What are your beliefs and when was the last time you looked at them? When was the last time you looked at members of your team as something more than job titles?

There is a wonderful dialogue in Amy Tan’s book, The Joy Luck Club, where June  protests to her mother:

... no matter
what you hope for...

I'll never be more
than what I am.

And you never see that!

And her mother responds:

I see you. I see you.

We must all see each other.

The Heart Aroused : Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America

“Inclusion is a sense of belonging: feeling respected, valued for who you are; feeling a level of supportive energy and commitment from others so than you can do your best work.”

– Miller, Frederick A. and Katz, Judith H. 2002. The Inclusion Breakthrough: Unleashing the Real Power of Diversity. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

In today’s world, accepting and adapting to change is one of the most important abilities any employee, manager, or team can adopt. A company that stagnates is not a company that will survive in today’s changing world. Yet change is often uncomfortable and threatening, and while some personalities thrive on change, others are intimidated or even annoyed by it. These negative feelings are heightened when the project leaders are not inclusive with the team who will be affected and who, surprisingly, may more closely understand the issues involved and the testing, requirements, and timing needed to avoid breaking the production cycle while these changes happen.

So what can we do as managers/leaders to encourage employees to buy into change? The following are key approaches to getting their trust and engagement:

• Bring them into discussions on the anticipated changes as early in the process as you can, and ask for their input
• Show them how the change will benefit them in their daily workday. If they reply that it will not, ask them why not. Request specifics. If the team doesn’t see clear benefits from completing the project, they won’t buy into it.
• What about the organization? Will the change bring about substantial improvement in the company’s market standing? Will it result in more customer satisfaction? Have you asked a select group of your customers whether this change would be agreeable or even desirable? What is it’s purpose and it’s goals, and can they be achieved, based on the resources available?
• Ask your team to contribute their ideas, questions, or arguments for or against the changes. Be open to their suggestions. Be prepared to really examine if their perspective is something that should be seriously weighed. Have you overlooked something? Don’t let ego stand in the way of rejecting weak or unsustainable projects.

As with so many workplace issues, communication is the key here. There are many types of changes that can happen as a result of long-term strategies, all of which have the possibility of overwhelming the team. When that happens, your team is not functioning at full capacity, because their stress levels are accelerated, and they are unclear about what their future day to day work lives will look like.

Open communication will contribute to the success of a project because the team is encouraged to contribute their ideas and solutions.

Be careful about your timelines, though. If a project that should take 6 months or less drags on for 2 years, something is drastically wrong with the way it is being run. Once the feeling of project failure starts creeping in, it’s too late to rally an enthusiastic team. By now they’re exhausted by missed deadlines, unmet requirements, and the feeling of being on a sinking ship.

From Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary:
1 capitalized : a friend of Odysseus entrusted with the education of Odysseus’ son Telemachus
2 a : a trusted counselor or guide b : tutor, coach

Mary the Mentor and the Horn and Hardart Automat.

Everyone should be lucky enough to have a mentor at work. Someone who shows you the “ropes”, introduces you to associates, tells you the best places to eat and the ones to avoid. In short, someone you can always rely on to give you the truth and to give you a hand.

I remember my first mentor so vividly. Her name was Mary.  She was at least 2 decades older than me, not unusual for me, because during my whole life/career, I realized that those I could learn the most from were the ones who had already made the uphill struggles, my older associates. Here I am, after 46 years of working life, and I still remember Mary. Why the long-lasting memory? Mary had no axe to grind, no office political agenda. She had a strong sense of order and wanted things to go well, including friendships. I wasn’t working there long — only a few months — when Mary urged me to apply for another position in the company — one that I had to be bonded for.

I had started as a file clerk – my first office job. Mary worked in another department — the room reserved for those trusted and respected employees who  would handle cash, checks, and other valuables on a daily basis. It was a non-profit organization which sold rosary beads, small statues, and other religious items. I did get bonded and was hired to work in the room where thousands of envelopes arrived every day — donations and purchases, and sometimes bequeathals.

Mary taught me how to dress like a professional on a small salary, by buying in consignment shops such as 2nd Hand Rose. She introduced me to the Horn and Hardart cafeteria, where I could get a good lunch for very little money, and in very pleasant surroundings. She was a lifeline for me, giving me a connection to my workplace that never would have been as strong without her. May you all be as lucky as I was to have such a mentor. All my life, I attempted to emulate her and to pass it on to others.

Writing this made me wonder if there were pictures around of that historic automat and sure enough, there are. I’ve got to get this book. As an Amazon Affiliate, I suggest the following nostalgic history of Horn and Hardart:

I have just watched – for the first time – an episode of Undercover Boss, a program that is aired by CBS. This episode, which aired Feb. 28, 2010, followed Dave Rife, one of the owners of White Castle (the hamburger chain) in his one-week undercover quest to experience and understand the day-to-day workings of the average White Castle and its employees. His experience covered a number of skill sets in different positions and at various White Castles around the country, from working at grilling to manning the take-out counter, to packaging for frozen food distribution.

He bungled most of the jobs and admitted later that he hadn’t realized just how hard they were. Along the way, he discovered that:

• Bureaucratic directives did not always accomplish what they set out to do
• Employees many times improved the process on their own initiative, even though they were afraid of being fired for not following corporate protocol
• He discovered, to his own surprise, some very special people who brought their own great insights and talent to the job and were ready and able to take on more responsibility. Several of them were awarded grants due to Dave Rife and White Castle – either for college scholarships or other needs
• There were some programs White Castle could put in place that encouraged career development

Disclaimer: I don’t watch a lot of TV, and when I do, I like travel and cooking shows, documentaries, that kind of stuff. I never watched any reality shows at all. My medium is books and internet. The only reason I watched this show was because of a blog post I discovered through LinkedIn. I’ll be watching some more of it, though, because I have a great deal of admiration for leaders who can make the jump to get down there with the producers of their product and out of the board room for awhile. It’s way too easy to forget what it’s like down in the ditches.

You can watch this and other episodes of this show here: Undercover Boss

On a personal note: Gosh, I loved White Castle when growing up in the Bronx, NY. My brother Bob, a navy man [now gone from us] would come home on leave and I swear, he could eat 16 White Castle hamburgers all by himself. Funny thing, to the end of his life he was thin as a rail and I remember as a young girl that he was just gorgeous in his navy whites.

It was not unusual for him to come over with a fellow navy guy and go out and order 4 or 5 dozen hamburgers from White Castle for all of us. This show brought back fond memories of our White Castle mania days. I haven’t had one since the Bronx, many many years ago. Of course, today I have diabetes, so it can’t be on my menu anyway. Even if that were not true, there is no WC near me [maybe thank God!].

I fully intend to watch future shows and, if you are interested in leaders who really want to understand how their businesses work, you will too.